Men Are Easy To Steal From
by Dommy who's a dummy
Summary: This is a oneshot fic I wrote for AO3 but I decided to put it on here as well. Vala realized something and she's trying to forget about it. Bad summary, I know. Odd story. I love Vala. She's my favourite character.


**Disclaimer: I own my soul.**

I'm just so tired. This man, this beautiful man. I am tired of trying. It's pathetic. I need to give up.

"Vala." Mitchell paused to speak to me after a briefing. "I know something is worrying you-"

"That is very generous of you Cameron but I don't think you are mentally prepared for my female drama, I don't even think a man of steel is prepared to hear the troubles of his beloved Lois Lana." I interrupted him quickly and gave one of my best beams.

"Firstly, it's Lois Lane, not Lois Lana. Lana Lang was Clark Kent's love interest when he was a teenager back in Smallville. Lois came in Metropolis, she was a rival journalist of Clark's for 'The Daily Planet'. We have been over this many times Vala. Next time you get it wrong, I am not responsible for my actions."

"Please hurry up. I have to prepare for our next great adventure." Honestly, this man was boring me to death.

"Well if you let me get to my point..." He murmured. "I know that something is worrying you and going on past experiences it's probably Jackson, what I want to know though is if this is going to affect your job? I can't be worried about you killing one of my men when we are offworld fighting some alien race I've never even heard of." I stood there silent for a second.

"Don't worry colonel. I don't plan on bothering Daniel any longer." He stared at me taken aback but nodded and left the room.

After the mission was successful, Samantha took me to a bookstore. She selected a few books and passed them to me to read the blurb and the first page.

"These books are all about heartbroken women." I said to her in a hushed tone yet still got some glares from the young man behind the till. Samantha smiled at me.

"I like to read them when I feel vulnerable. The books may be cliché but there is something cathartic about them." I was a bit confused.

"I don't understand that word."

"Oh. Cathartic means providing psychological relief through the expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis, which is a process of releasing strong or repressed emotions." She explained and passed me another book.

"No, Samantha, I know what cathartic means, and may I just say that that was one of the most longest explanations I've ever heard. I meant, I don't understand cliché." Samantha blinked at me a couple of times before giggling like a little girl.

"Cliché means a predictable and overused idea, opinion or phrase."

"Like Teal'c's 'Indeed'?"

"Not...exactly." The books kept on piling up. "Oh, Jane Austen. I'm not sure if you're ready for that." She thought out loud.

"You know, you didn't actually explain to me why I have to read books about heartbroken women." I told her.

"Well...I just thought that maybe you might want to...since you and Daniel..." I kept on staring at her with curiosity. "It's just...because I sort of...overheard you tell Colonel Mitchell that you're giving up on Daniel."

"Oh." I took a deep breath. "That."

"Yeah. Whenever I'm feeling down about me and Jack, I read stuff like this, bawl my eyes out, eat a lot of chocolate or ice cream and in the morning I pick myself up and get on with my life. All women do it at some point in their life. I'm sure you must have done it in some shape or form."

"Nah, whenever I feel a bit down, I usually steal." The young man behind the counter coughed loudly. "But lately I haven't been in the mood to steal. I've just been feeling...pathetic." Samantha nodded.

"I know how you feel very well. But what can you do besides breaking down?" I grinned.

"Go shopping?" Samantha grinned back.

It's been over a week and he hasn't noticed. Everyone else but him has. I'm not supposed to care. I don't care. The alcohol helps. But the stealing is more fun. One thing I've learnt from this, never steal when you're drunk.

"Vala." Mitchell knocked on my door. "Can I come in?"

"I suppose, isn't that the sole purpose of a human having legs?" He closed the door behind him.

"Vala, your attitude needs to change." I don't know what I was expecting. "Some of the things you've stolen-"

"Acquired."

"STOLEN. Were priceless possessions from the Royal family, you are lucky that they are not pressing charges."

"Am I supposed to be impressed by the power of your government?"

"VALA!" He shout startled me. "Just because a guy doesn't want you that doesn't mean that you are allowed to act like a spoiled brat who didn't get her way!" I stood up.

"I'm not a spoiled brat! I am hurt! And if a woman gets hurt she needs some time. So forgive me for trying to get back in touch with who I really am! Besides I gave EVERYTHING back. So I honestly don't see what the issue is?"

"The issue?!"

"Yes!"

"The issue?! You want to know what the issue is?!" I stepped forward.

"Yes, I do!"

"Well, I'll tell you the issue!" I raised one eyebrow waiting for him to continue. "I can't think of one right now. I'll get back to you. But for now, stop stealing!" He made a strange animalistic noise and walked out of my room leaving me dumbfounded. Men. Can't live with them. But, as I looked through the content of his wallet I just acquired, you certainly can steal from them.


End file.
